Sunday, June 20, 2010

New Beginnings

I've been out of work for a month now, exhausted from all the responsibilities of my job, home, family, etc., after being injured. I wanted to take this time to assess the condition of my physical and emotional health and adjust my schedule accordingly. I feel like I'm still at the beginning of this process but I have learned some things. The injuries I sustained from my two car accidents will be permanent. What will that mean? I won't know for a long time, probably years so I have to focus on what I have control over and can change and improve. I have just begun this process as well. Most importantly I have to pay attention to my body and follow what it's telling me to do. I will be thinking about who has been working with me, doing what and what, if anything has helped. Who are the caring people, who have some investment in my getting better. I will need their support and energy to heal. I've begun to assemble this group and will slowly be adding and deleting people. I want as much as is possible to be surrounded by people who are helpful. Unfortuantely, I am forced by the system to deal with car insurance companies, disability companies and medical care providers who complicate my life and whose aim runs counter to my goals. I am lucky to have found an extremely kind attorney who I believe is my guardian angel. His mission, which he has undertaken himself is as much as possible to keep the negative people away from me and manage them for me (thank you Joe!!) and to support me in my efforts to get healed.

I have actually begun to quilt. Of course in my spare time I've ordered more and more fabric but I have a few quilts I am actually working on and I'm feeling so happy about that. I had everything around me to get going but I couldn't. Now I am ready and I know I need to take this slowly and not start ten projects at once or they'll never get done. I do get bored easily and I know that it's okay to spend small amounts of time on a few extra squares or a drawing but not more than that. My focus is on getting quilts done, from start to finish, maybe working on two at the same time but no more!!!

Tomorrow pictures of my new beginnings. I think you'll like them. This feels right. I couldn't have done any of it wihout Winston, my true guardian angel who is with me always and when I feel desperate has kisses and snuggles ready to freely share. What a great little guy! Someone special brought him into my life. I can't help but smile and laugh out loud at his hysterical behavior and poses. He'll get me through this and I freely repay with kisses and snuggles as well.

I am not a religious person at all but I do believe that the goodness in people is what sustains us all. Why they are like that, why some of us can gain access to them and others don't seem to be able to, I have know idea but they have the power and as long as we leave ourselves open to receive their goodness